Stop and smell the roses

I've been feeling burned out lately. So it was no surprise that my nasty ear infection has not gone away. So instead of reading for class or trying to catch up on extra work, I have spent my quiet time reading blogs that I love but haven't read in ages and listening to new favorite songs. It's moments like this that I remember I need to recharge,

I have been trying to remind myself that I need to put me first. It's not as easy as it sounds. A full time job, a sweet husband to care for, meals to plan, family to call-- I'm grateful for all of these things, but I struggle to find this thing called "work-life-family-balance."

Today when I woke up at the crack of 3 AM (which never happens) and was feeling awful, I decided it was a day to heal. I stayed home in comfy pjs all day, calmly and happily remembered why I love my job and designed some pretty fun pieces. I didn't stress over not cooking dinner, went out for a peaceful walk and walked around the Philadelphia Free Library (it was Kevin's first time).

No, the ear infection has not gone away (sigh), my coughs and sniffles haven't stopped (curse) but my heart is happy and I'm in a good place again.

Stop and smell the roses.

Moral of the story: It's always best to take care of yourself first because you'll then be able to help so much more.

True story. I feel I'm now ready to take on the world again. I need to get it in my head to not feel guilty about taking care of me. I'll repeat that just for me: I need to not feel guilty about taking care of me. I can help others when I am healthier and happier when I take care of myself. Same applies to you.

Stop and smell the roses. Otherwise, they'll be gone way too soon and you will have missed them.

xoxo

Sunday Thoughts

Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

We don't know why, they just do.

I once asked myself, "Why?" in tiny town, in the middle of nowhere, all the way in Brazil. It was my first day in the mission field. My companion had taken me to lunch at the Area President's home and once it was over she announced that we were going to visit a sick woman. Little did I know that meant we were visiting a woman who had had a stroke and we were going to bathe her.

That moment must have been humiliating to the woman as two American girls undressed her, bathed her, changed her diaper; yet, she couldn't tell us. Old age was not kind to this woman.

I was told that she was a very faithful member of our church and used to go to church devotedly every Sunday. Now the stroke had left her paralyzed and since no has cars in that part of the world, she wasn't able to go.

While I was lost in thought and a little shocked, my companion turned to me, "You need to give her a message of hope."

"Ohhh-kay," the word barely came out of my mouth. My Portuguese wasn't understandable and I could only say phrases here and there.

All of a sudden in my mind this scripture came to me, "For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be heard." (Doctrine and Covenants 25:12) I wanted to sing a prayer for her and the song came to mind.

"Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace? Where in my need to know, where can I run?"

I pulled out my little Portuguese hymn book and began to sing like I never sang before.

"He answers privately, reaches my reaching, in my Gethsamane,  Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, love without end."

A feeling of peace came. A smiled followed.

It turned out to be her favorite hymn.

And it became a theme for the rest of mission as I battled hardships and illness. Only the Savior knows what we're going through and He will always love us no matter what.

I did finish my 19 months in Brazil and worked diligently. I survived.


Today, I sang "Where Can I Turn for Peace?" in sacrament meeting and thought of the story above. Lately, I've been battling a long and hard battle. I was able to remind myself that peace will come and that the Savior knows of my needs. He has been through my personal Gethsemane and will not leave me alone in my darkest hour.